When your feelings hijack your To Do list

When you’re a woman with big dreams and big ambition, you wake up each day knowing that you have a choice. You know you can choose how to move through your day, how to interact with others, how to behave.

But where we seem to have no choice is with our feelings, and how we feel can impact everything: our productivity, relationships, confidence and communication.

Doing the important work.

Doing the important work.

It can be frustrating confusing to have your feelings at odds with your plans. Adding to the challenge of your own frustration, we live in a world that says some feelings are “bad”.

Bulls#it.

The truth is, we live in a world that’s afraid to feel, and as a result, we live in a world that’s at odds with women, because women are designed to feel a lot. No wonder so many of us have challenges with having deep friendships, meaningful partnerships, and feeling self-love — we live in a world that says we’re built wrong, so we walk through life trying to hide our true feelings.

As women, we have 2 choices: feel or go numb. When you’re numb, your relationships are shallow and your ambitions lack deep meaning. You can cross things off your To Do list, but when you’re not working, you’ll reach to every possible distraction you can (food, television, gossip and alcohol) to keep the feelings at bay. When you’re numb, you’re alive, but not living.

So how do we get things done, without going numb? Feel.

When we’re willing to feel the feelings, they pass, and often more quickly than we think. When we allow the feelings to be fully felt, they move through us, leaving imprints of inspiration for us to bring into our actions.

Because I believe that sisterhood is the best space to support a woman’s freedom, I share this ode to women, from my heart to yours. Next time you’re feeling something big, share it with a girlfriend. It’s time we take a stand for our sisters.
May you feel.

I am a woman.

I love deeply and feel a lot. Sometimes I feel several emotions that seem to be at odds, all at the same time. Sometimes they come in waves, one clearing the path for the next to roll in. I am learning to feel love, for others and for myself, when I am feeling hurt or angry. I am even learning to love the hurt and anger.

I keep learning how to hurt and love, and love hurt, to heal the planet. Yes, I feel to heal the planet…because I want a world where people know that they are loved for being and that they can create anything they want. And to give that, I have to be that. I’m willing to walk through the fire to learn, even though sometimes it appears to be lonelier and more challenging than watching crappy television and staying at a job you hate, saving the enjoyment of life for the weekends. Yes, that life seems more simple, but I can’t go back. Instead, I’m willing to walk through this fire sometimes, to experience being alive all the time, so I can give the gift of life.

I am a woman. Don’t try to understand me too much, because as soon as you think you understand, I’ve already become new again. Instead, feel me. I am an ocean, and I know an ocean is a lot to feel, but when you swim in my waters you will see that life is rich here, and that feelings aren’t so scary after all.

Join the conversation. In the comments below, share with some sisters: how are you allowing yourself to feel today?

What did you inherit?

Mama and me in Paris. Dimples and freckles.

Mama and me in Paris. Dimples and freckles.

I’ve been fascinated by the vast world of personal growth for as long as I can remember.  It started at around age 12 with Louise Hay’s You Can Heal Your Life and has continued for the last 20-something years, with the exception of a 5 year break in my late teens through early twenties, when I had more “important” things to do — drugs, shopping and partying.

In the last several years, I have come to realize that my immersion into the worlds of self-help and drug use came from the same fundamental belief.  This is an all-too-common but rarely talked about experience in the personal growth world… I believed that there was something desperately wrong with me, and I wanted to fix or escape it before anyone else saw it, too.

I was broken and needed a cure. Self-help, affirmations, ecstasy and cocaine were my drugs of choice.

Throughout all those years of deep self-analysis and self-criticism, I obsessively assessed where all of my brokenness came from, lamenting all the ways my childhood had messed me up.  I had a mental checklist of all of my least favorite qualities of myself, a tally of who I “inherited” them from, and what life experiences created them.  As a woman, I was especially fixated on the physical and personality traits of my female family members.  I tried to figure out how to avoid the ones I didn’t want to inherit — wrinkles, cellulite, loneliness or insecurities — while sinking in thoughts that I could also never be as good as them — gorgeous curves, warmth, kindness and generosity.

I was lost in deep uncertainty about where I belonged, and confused as to how to be “perfect”.  And I had to be perfect…

I wanted to be like the women I saw who seemed so naturally confident, courageous and self-assured. I craved that energy of effortlessness. I’m embarrassed to admit that I actually believed at one point that if only I had been born into a family of women who never doubted themselves, I would have had a chance…

Yes, I now know that there’s no such family.  Every family has wrinkles, cellulite, loneliness and insecurity.  I also now know that embracing those things as a beautiful part of life is key to appreciating life itself, and beginning to shift the cultural expectation for women to be eternally happy, ageless Barbie dolls.

At the time, I couldn’t see that, and struggled to have a perfect looking life — nice clothes, pretty smile, good job, cute boyfriend — while feeling secretly inadequate inside. Ironically, in my fear of being insecure, I was deeply insecure. In my fear of being someone I didn’t want to be, I didn’t like who I was.

In a personal growth seminar one day, the leader called me to the front of the room to spill my guts, then declared that what was really missing in my life was self-love. His diagnosis felt embarrassing and uninspiring. I didn’t hate myself, I told him. Besides, the idea of focusing on self-love seemed shallow and insincere. There were actual problems in the world — couldn’t he just make me more confident so I could get on with the business of helping others? I didn’t have time for some big, cheesy self-love journey.

But he gave me no other options, so I agreed to make a gentle effort at exploring.
Here’s what I’ve discovered:

It’s terribly easy to get trapped in a judgment loop where you criticize yourself for being how you are, then criticize them for “making” you this way, then criticize others who are “better” or “worse” than you are, then criticize yourself again for being critical. It’s a nasty cycle, and there’s only way out…

The key to creating the confidence, courage, ease and joy that so many of us crave is celebrating other women.

The celebration loop looks like this: when we celebrate where we came from, we are more able to celebrate who and where we are in life, which opens us up to celebrate others, which provides the space to be of greater service in the world. It’s a beautiful cycle that creates unity among women and I believe that it’s the medicine the world needs most.

If you want to make a bigger impact in the world…
If you want to feel more grounded and secure within yourself…
It begins with celebrating the women who came before you.

Take some time today to write a list of the traits that you “inherited” from the women in your family, then choose a few to share with them, in appreciation. Leave out any criticism, complaining or commiserating.
Just celebrate.

Join the conversation in the comments below, to share who you’re celebrating and why you’re celebrating her, and how you’ll share your gratitude with her.

I CELEBRATE:

I Celebrate

Just say what’s so

I kept staring at my calendar, trying to convince myself I could do it…and everything else I had committed to.  Finally, after 3 days of feeling guilty for not being able to cross everything off the list everyday, I just told myself the truth: There was no way on earth the PowerPoint was going to be ready on time.

I kind of felt like a jerk. It was due — teetering on past due — and I was just sitting there staring at my laptop. S#it.  The more guilty and overwhelmed I felt, the more I seemed to be paralyzed to just get it done.  I found myself engaging in random acts of procrastination (like the pic below), just to distract myself from the overwhelm.

nisha in the bathtub

Yes, I sat in a bathtub with all my clothes on.

I had a surprisingly surprising revelation: What if I just told the truth?

I decided to email the woman I owed the PowerPoint to and just say what’s so. It went something like this:

Hey Lady,
I’m realizing that I’ve overextended myself this week, and got behind on everything.  I’m learning the lesson to give myself much more space for projects from now on! May I submit a PowerPoint to you one day late?  I’d like to have one, but it’s still in the works.  Please let me know.  I understand you’re working with your own deadlines, and I appreciate you considering this.
Thank you!

:: exhale ::
It worked. She was totally fine with it, and I was able to get on with doing what needed to get done. I guess the truth really does set you free.

Struggling with a deadline? Don’t actually want to go on that coffee date? Just say what’s so.

How to have it feel good for everyone:
* Don’t blame anything outside of yourself. Your desires and your choices are leading here.
* Be gracious, and apologize for the potential impact on them. Don’t make it all about you.
* Don’t ramble. Just get to the point.
* Share what you’re learning and will implement going forward.
* Thank them for hearing you, and for their willingness to consider.
* State your clear intentions. Do you really plan to call them next month? Don’t create a new mess you’ll have to clean up later.
* Don’t be a robot. Being overly professional or polished in your language to a friend is just weird.
* Be professional when it’s called for. Business contacts don’t want to be spoken to like your BFF.
* Contact them before the meeting or deadline, because contacting them after sucks.

To do our work well, sometimes we need to move mountains and get the job done on time. To do our work well, sometimes we just need to say what’s so. Know the difference, and make it happen. Your freedom awaits.

The danger of living in your comfort zone

me at machu picchu

On the edge of my comfort zone, at the top of Machu Picchu

A few months ago, I decided to travel to Peru. It’s been a dream of mine to see Machu Picchu for over a decade, so when I found out my friend Michael Costuros was leading a trip with a small group of entrepreneurs, I signed up.

As I sat on my boyfriend’s sun drenched livingroom floor that day, just one click away from purchasing my flight, I paused. “Babe, am I crazy for doing this?”, I asked with a nervous laugh. I wasn’t actually looking for his answer — I was really asking myself if I was ready to take this leap into the unknown…

I only knew one of the people taking the trip.
I knew I would be asked to share vulnerably with strangers.
I knew nothing about the safety of Peru.
It was a major investment.

What if I didn’t like it and was stuck?
What if my clients needed me and the wifi didn’t work?
What if I should be spending the money on something else?
What if I felt lonely?

It was a step outside of my comfort zone.
I had to say yes.

Today, sitting on my boyfriend’s sun drenched livingroom floor after having just landed back in the US, I couldn’t be happier that I did. I made new lifelong friends, I have beautiful memories that will stay with me always, I had an experience of awakening that enlivens and enriches the way I move through life, and I have integrated lessons that will improve the lives of others.

When so much good happens when we take the leap, why do we stay in our comfort zone?

Sure, we won’t have to face our fears. But mostly, we won’t have to face our greatness.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”  – Marianne Williamson

Instead of taking the leap, we make reasons for staying in our comfort zones.
I’ve had many:
I wanted to grow my business, but didn’t want to invest in a coach.
I wanted to travel, but was waiting until I had the money or time.
I wanted to see my family more often, but was so busy with my business.
I wanted my marriage to improve, but wouldn’t spend the money on therapy.

Looking back on each of these, it wasn’t the lack of time or money that was in the way, it was my reasons.

I thought I was “going with the flow”, waiting for things to happen in a way that felt easy and with minimal effort, but I was actually being passive. Going with the flow is active — it means following the whispers of our desires with curiosity, honesty and creativity.

The truth was that I was afraid to swim outside of my comfort zone, but everything I wanted was just on the other side of the boundaries I had created for myself.

And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom. – Anaïs Nin

What’s at the edge of your comfort zone?

1. Travel alone: For years, I envied women who felt confident and secure enough to travel alone. It seemed so scary to me. What if I got lost or hurt? What if I can’t manage to learn the language?  Worse, what if I felt the bottomless despair of loneliness? At the same time, there was something that seemed so liberating about a woman taking a trip without the comforts of what’s familiar. I longed to be one of these women. A woman who would invest her time and money in herself in this way. A woman who had the courage to step into the world without the comfort of what she knows. I had no idea how profoundly nourishing traveling alone would be. As with this Peru trip, I often plan to meet people in the locations I’m traveling to, but it is a freeing experience to set off by myself. If this is at the edge of your comfort zone, take the leap, and choose a place that exhilarates you.

2. Make eye contact with strangers: My friend, Michael, who organized the Peru trip, shared the story of his friend: she realized that she had been subconsciously avoiding eye contact with strangers for years. In a gentle effort to be more willing to be seen, she committed to making eye contact and saying hello with everyone she passed on the sidewalk for one day. The exercise was so enriching and powerful for her, that she has continued it to this day, years later. Avoiding eye contact is so common, we almost never consider it. There’s something simply beautiful about allowing others to see us, and seeing them. We live amongst humans. I invite you to step out of your tiny experience to experience them.

3. Try a forbidden food: My friend and client, Alexandra Jamieson, recently “came out” as no longer being vegan. For someone who co-produced the documentary Super Size Me and wrote 3 books on the virtues of veganism, this was definitely a leap off the edge of her comfort zone. She was afraid of the backlash she would face, but she was more afraid of hiding in the shadows and never expressing her truth, so she had to jump. All of this was precipitated by Alex’s willingness to try “forbidden” foods, because her body was asking for them. Most of us have foods we’re afraid to try, either because of the taste or our fear of what effect they’ll have on us. Are you willing to expand your palette to experience more of life?

4. Share yourself authentically: One of the biggest fears we face is of being seen exactly as we are — for people to bear witness to our innermost insecurities. We slap on makeup, spray tan and a smile to show the world that we’re okay, and unconsciously create stock responses to common questions. “How’s married life?”… “Oh, you know. Relationships are hard, but we’re working on it every day!” What does that even mean? I invite you to step out of your comfort zone and tell someone what’s really going on in your heart. The key here is to watch out for the pitfalls of shaming, complaining and commiserating. Rather than making this about how someone or something else is bad or wrong, share how you feel and what you desire.  To do this authentically, make it about you.

Today, choose one of the above and stretch yourself to do it, even if you have reasons why you can’t. You’re smart and creative — you can find a way. Do it in the name of expanding your comfort zone. Even if things don’t go how you want them to, see it as a success because you went for it.

When you stay within the cozy confines of your comfort zone, life becomes dull, uninspired, small.  Rather than evolve into possibility, you shrivel into predictability.

When you swim out of your comfort zone, you become the creator of your life in a world of possibility. {tweet it}

“With passion pray.
With passion work.
With passion make love.
With passion eat and drink and dance and play.
Why look like a dead fish in this ocean of Love?”
– Rumi

Join the discussion in the comments below, and share what you will do in the name of expanding your comfort zone.

Ode to the girl that is me.

Dear Sweet Child,BabyNisha

Thank you for bearing the pain of
a family that wasn’t always united.

Thank you for loving your body in a
world that says your body is wrong.

Thank you for holding visions of magic
that have inspired those who love you.

Thank you for feeling the feelings
that felt too big to understand.

Thank you for wanting good things
for the earth and her people.

My Dear Sweet Child,
I am sorry for forgetting about you.

For treating you harshly.
For being impatient with you.
For not listening.

My Dear Sweet Child,
Thank you for living on inside of me.

I promise to take care of you.
I promise to love you.
I promise to listen.

 

In the comments below, share an ode to the girl that is you.

What’s weighing you down? [video]

I’ve been a food addict.
I’ve spent every dime I made.
I’ve been a complete workaholic.

Why?

Not because I lacked self-control or willpower, and not because I’m broken. I’ve struggled with “using” these things because there were things in my life that I was avoiding. It was never about the food, shoes or emails. It was about the fractured self-esteem, the failing relationship and the fear that I wouldn’t be able to make it.

Because I know firsthand the spiral of destruction that happens when there’s something in our life that’s nagging at us, but we don’t don’t pay attention to it, I believe that…

When life is calling our attention to something, we have to give it the attention it deserves. If we don’t, it won’t get better; it will only get louder.

Because of this belief, and because I am totally on board with her unique and empowering message and method… if you’re feeling weighed down by your weight, I am excited to share my friend Sarah Jenks with you.

Watch this video to learn about her brilliant philosophy and how we can create more freedom within our bodies:

Here’s Sarah’s incredible free video series that you won’t want to miss, especially if you’ve been struggling with “using” things to avoid your weight and body image:LIVE MORE WEIGH LESS video training series.

Have a blast!

Are you waiting to be saved?

Originally posted on DailyWorth.com

Seven years ago, I left a cushy corporate job to put myself through nutrition school and launch my own venture as a lifestyle and wellness coach. Within a few years, I had a successful business, earning far more than I ever had.

There was just one problem: I wasn’t saving any of it. What was going on? And more importantly, how could I turn this around?

A few weeks ago, I discovered the answer–and realized that the problem was far more pervasive than I’d imagined–when I hosted a live session of DailyWorth’s Money Clarity for my mastermind clients: 16 ambitious, brilliant, on-top-of-their-game women.

amanda steinberg teaching

Amanda Steinberg of DailyWorth.com, teaching my women

In the session, each woman had an opportunity to share — then rewrite — her “money story.” Several revealed that, like me, they’d struggled with saving even as their incomes rose.

It dawned on me that, even in a room of savvy and successful women, there were still many of us living a financial fantasy–hoping someone or something would come along and “save” us. I wondered:

Are we not saving because we’re waiting to be saved?

If so, how could we change our story? DailyWorth’s founder Amanda Steinberg offered some deceptively simple, yet powerful, advice:
“Just start calling yourself a Saver.”

Huh? I realized that, despite my best intentions, I’d never actually identified myself as a “Saver” — it wasn’t my story. Now, I asked myself: What would I do differently if I was a Saver? How would my behavior change? Over the next few days,
I took three steps:

1. I placed a bright note in my freshly organized wallet, declaring: “I’m a Saver!”

2. I opened two savings accounts, earmarking money for specific goals (like a trip with my mom).

3. I started to ask myself before every purchase: “Is this adding value to my life?”

The change was almost immediate. Instead of just telling myself I’m “bad with money” (and secretly hoping someone would magically fix it for me), I started treating my money — and myself — with more care. Just by declaring I was a Saver, to myself and to others, I felt a greater sense of self-trust and accountability.

It has made a profound difference in my spending and saving habits—and in the way I view my money and myself. By trusting and taking care of ourselves, we realize we’re smarter and stronger than we thought. We find an expansion of freedom that comes from within.

We find that we don’t need to be saved, after all.

From what state do you create?

At 1am, I walked on fire.

Along with my girl, Sarah Jenks, I spent last week in LA for a Tony Robbins event. When Mastin Kipp from The Daily Love contacted me, inviting me to join in, I was a skeptical Yes.

I’ve done a lot of personal growth work. I started reading self-help books at age 12, was a peer counselor at age 16, and have spent enough money on coaching in my life to buy a small house in northern California. I’m really, really into this stuff.

So the idea of coming to a seminar with 6000 people was a little… Let’s just say that I was convinced that it would be all the same basic stuff I’ve seen and heard before. Epic fail at adopting Beginner’s Mind. Anyways, I was wrong.

Tony is a total machine — the man can go 12 hours without peeing or taking even a sip of water. That alone is miraculous to see. But beyond that, there was one big lesson that he really drove home — a lesson that prepared us for a 1am fire walk: the importance of state.

firewalk

This blurry image is a picture of a row of burning coals, registering at a temperature of around 2200˚. For some context, if you’ve ever burned yourself on your oven, the temperature was likely around 450˚. Yeah. You could seriously mess yourself up by walking on fire.

Screen shot 2013-03-24 at 7.55.36 PM

Here’s a picture of me and Sarah, PSYCHED on the other side of the fire.  We did it!  No burns; no pain.

So how did we prepare?

Yes, we had a strategy — we needed to know how to do this to be effective. But before that, we needed to be in the right state.

We tend to think that we just need the right strategy to achieve success, but unless you’re in the right state, your strategy won’t succeed. {tweet it}

In other words, if I had walked onto that fire timidly, full of certainty I’d burn my feet off, slumped over, overwhelmed with nervous energy and fantasies of tripping into the fire… no matter how much I knew what strategies to employ (look up, not down; walk at a normal, direct pace), I would fail. I needed to be in the right physical, mental and emotional state.

Think of something that you want to create. What is it? Think of it now…

To create what you want, what state do you need to be in?

PHYSICAL: What change can you make to your body right now to be in the right physical state for creating what you want? For example, if you’re wanting to empty your inbox, will you be more effective while slumped on the couch or standing up at a counter with good posture? Our physical state sends cues to our brains, letting our mind know how sharp to be. Consider this.

MENTAL: What do you need to focus on right now to be in the right mental state for creating what you want? If you’re wanting to sit down and write a blog post, what will it be more helpful: obsessing over getting your grammar perfect, or focusing on the result you’re determined to give your readers? What we focus on is a choice, and what we focus on magnifies.

EMOTIONAL: How can you flip the switch on your emotional state right now to be in the right emotional state for creating what you want? For example, when having a sales conversation with a prospective client, will it be more empowering for you to be spiraling into worry, certain that they’re not going to hire you, or… excited to be with them, sure that if you bring your full presence, you’ll both discover whether this is a right fit? At a certain point, spiraling into despair is absolutely a choice.

While you get yourself into the state to create, imagine yourself on the other side, having achieved what you set out to accomplish.

Won’t it be worth it to take that first step into the fire?

Delight is a choice.

Somewhere along the way, we made a collective decision that adults shouldn’t play; that it’s a waste of time and energy and there are better, more productive things to do. I’ve never understood this. Isn’t life here for us to enjoy? Is it not our birthright to play? Since we have the choice, why not choose to play amidst all the work?

When we see someone playing — being delighted with life — it’s an invitation to play, too. Our delight is not just for us, it’s for everyone.

A monkey hanging over my head in Costa Rica!

A monkey hanging over my head in Costa Rica!

 

70 THINGS THAT DELIGHT ME:

1. Wiping down the counter in public restrooms.
2. Kissing passionately in public.
3. Turning the iPhone off for dinner…and turning it back on after breakfast.
4. Buying from or hiring my friends.
5. Peachy-red toenails.
6. Matte red lipstick.
7. Seeing people who have weathered a lot together and don’t look weather-worn.
8. Sitting by the fire, watching it snow outside.
9. A glass of chilled Sancerre before I meet my man for a date.
10. Watching my mom arrange flowers.
11. Watching my man eat oysters.
12. Watching my brother play with his dog.
13. Watching my dad eat crab.
14. Making my website feel like art.
15. Homemade popcorn with melted butter, dill, brewers yeast and sea salt.
16. Quality jersey knit sheets in ivory.
17. Homemade necklaces.
18. Looking down at new shoes.
19. Having a coach who “gets me”.
20. Reading in a hammock with my love, while picking strawberries out of the same container.
21. Dessert that’s so orgasmic, it doesn’t matter that it’s the size of your thumb.
22. San Francisco in the spring.
23. Montreal in the fall.
24. Taking women on retreats and watching them fall in love with one another.
25. Staycations.
26. Picturing what my children will look like.
27. Making soup in my Vitamix.
28. Watching a baby check out a dog.
29. Talking with my grandmothers at my altar.
30. Green juice that tastes green (but not too green).
31. Playing with my friends’ sons.
32. Taking hikes in Pacific Northwest forest.
33. Talking about love and life and travel with my little brother.
34. Dancing tango while waiting for our table at the restaurant.
35. Looking at people on the subway and imagining what they looked like as babies.
36. Sandalwood incense.
37. Vanilla hazelnut herbal tea with coconut milk.
38. Seeing a woman in a dress that looks like it’s made for her.
39. Cooking an elaborate dinner for my friends.
40. Planning my coming week on Sunday evening.
41. Road trips when there’s no timeline.
42. Just-out-of-the-dryer clothing.
43. Wearing a backpack.
44. Feathers in my hair.
45. Dreaming up emails that will inspire and provoke.
46. Watching movies in the bath.
47. Wearing hats.
48. The combination of feathers and sequins.
49. Walking into the room and seeing my man’s eyes widen as he takes me in.
50. Talking about life’s big things with my momma.
51. Writing poetry.
52. Watching a father play with his kids.
53. Opening mail from friends.
54. Traveling to new places with girlfriends.
55. Gold rings.
56. Cooking my family’s curry with cabbage.
57. Homemade coconut milk ice cream.
58. Hanging with my girls; doing anything or nothing.
59. Being on the beach when it’s quiet.
60. Breakfast.
61. Midday dance parties on the bed.
62. Wrapping my friends in blankets.
63. Sparkling rosé.
64. Eating nasturtiums.
65. Watching bees pollinating flowers.
67. Artichokes with garlic butter.
68. Listening to little girls tell stories.
69. This American Life (I have a crush on Ira Glass).
70. Jewelry made with crystals.

Today, write a list of all the things that delight you!

In the comments below, share some of your favorites, and what this exercise has opened up for you.

Self-sabotage doesn’t exist

Months ago, as I poured through the applications for my Freedom Mastermind, I saw the same themes emerging again and again. The same frustrations. The same aches. The same desires for an expanded sense of freedom.

Screen shot 2013-02-22 at 11.31.34 AM
We are so similar. No matter who I speak with, it seems so universally frustrating is that the solutions to our challenges appear to be so simple (drink more water; meditate more; break up with him; tell her you love her; just focus) and yet we are so complicated (why can’t I seem to stop eating? why can’t I forgive my mother? why can’t I trust men? why can’t I just focus?). While the rules seem simple, we can’t seem to play by the rules. (more…)